1. Am now unemployed.
2. Am now alone.
3. Am now getting a drink of water.... (pause)(ahhh)
4. Am now at my parents house.
5. Am now in slight pain.
6. Am now feeling somewhat slothful.
7. Am now believing some people just can't get along.
8. Am wondering why small children like me.
9. Am now wishing for a cheap and pleasant diversion.
10. And am now generally wondering if people really read these things.
I'm feeling like a little soul bearing tonight. It's been a while, and to you, my few live journal friends I will speak. Some of you I may piss off. Some of you I may scare. Some of you may realize that I'm a little messed up on some level. Could be level 3, or perhaps 17. Sometimes I lose track...
(1) I have trust issues. Too many years of paranoia will do that to you. Is it wrong to be paranoid? NO. I was bought out by my job, kind of screwed over by them, offered a job, denied a job, and now I'm on a great pile of severance. Speaking financially, I don't have to work until St. Crispins day. (Who the hell is St Crispin?) Really, If I like, I don't need to work until Mid March, if I want to ride the full train, but I like to work. My ex-boss, is a friendly and helpful guy, who I have no reason to personally mistrust, but I do, because I know he has multiple faces. I've seen them.
(2)MY lovely wife is back in the hospital. Hernia surgery. A possibility after Gastric bypass, so that was expected. She fears another 3+ month hospital stay, and I cant blame her. On that note, according to the legal professionals we hired, she got level 4 bed sores through the natural course of a hospital stay. I don't get that. If someone else does, please explain.
(3) I, like most people, and seriously dehydrated. People need lots more liquid than they get. I may carry a bottle with me going forward. MY folks have me on their new weird scale that measures body fat and water. Lets just say I'm heavy, composed of too much fat, and extremely dry.
(4) Due to the hernia, Kim couldn't climb into or out of a waterbed, so we've been staying at my folks. It's nice, but restricting. 'Cause We're sharing a drink that's called lonliness, but it's better than drinkin' alone'. On that note, I have 6 bottles of Dulseda back at the house. Probably the last of my cheap aquisition for a while. That people charge over $27 dollars for a bottle of ambrosia is obscene.
(5) MY knees have been twingeing. (If that's a word. If it is it's obviously mispelled) Hasn't happened since I was a kid, but this hurts more. Haven't mentioned it to anyone, cause I figure if I drop a little weight, the pain will fade. Have been quoting Nietzche to myslef alot more.
(6) I really want to workout more. I haven't renewed my Y membership, cause I haven't driven close to the new Y I'm joining. But I know this is my chance to get in better shape. Kim has been unable to workout for weeks, housing has been complex, and now I need backup. I have to work out later today.
(7) Before 2 days ago, my job was effectively keeping a mortgage call center running. In that position, I had to be "that guy". You know, the responsible authority figure, that usually kills everyones fun. And on my last day of work, which was really screwing around, eating, and then bowling, people decided that they could verbally "let me have it", as there was nothing I could do to them anymore. It's grade school shit, but my armor isn't as strong as it used to be, and I'm feeling about 25% sadness, and 75% anger, with a smidge of Vengance to push it over the top... In retrospect, and related at an extreme distance, I understand how easy it is to teach someone to hate. I understand the mentality of the janitor of a previous friends post, who drew some rather unfriendly lines about what makes someone undesirable. I guess in general it comes down to taking things personally. I used to protect myself better. I'm out of practice. (Or I'm just not as good at hiding anymore)(or maybe, I just don't care)
(8) Monday, at Kim's school, a little girl who didn't talk to the school's art teacher for 2 months, said Hi to me, out of the blue, the first time I met her. Do I have mysterious powers over the opposite sex? (Cool, but due to her age, ewwwwww.) Do children just see me better? ( More ewwwwww.) Should I try teaching again? (EWWWWW)
(9) I'm reading again. I'm planning home cleaning, but of late I'm at a loss to fill my time. Suggestions?
(10) Let me know.